Its been a long time – GLaDOS

Portal was one of the best puzzle games in 2009. Possibly the perfect mix of game for the acerage geek. Puzzle action and humour, add a dash of geek referance and geek nostalgia and there you have it. It looks like the developers are taking the sequel to a whole new level.

Just have a look you will be amazed on how valve have put this teaser together.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I think what amazes me the most about this is the fact so many address tags are taken.

Default settings aren't optimal

Recent black ops personal working undercover has uncovered Apple Employee’s aided by Linux Insurgents have infiltrated Microsoft’s core Windows Coding team. Anyone suffering from random crashes long restarts and resetting default attributes may need to find the hidden settings for windows crash.

Of particular note are the ‘crash computer after x’ fields. Set to ensure maximum data loss between office auto saves I would advise disabling this feature completely. Utilising the crash computer after x hours however may be an excellent security measure. Preventing thieves from stealing you computer simply because it’s useless and disheartening cyber criminals by crashing before they can steal any useful information.

Of course its not all bad. The fuzzy logic processing that works out when your computer is at it’s least likely to crash moment is a feat of genius. Using the omgbbqsauce engine the windows insta-crash will detect you facial movements via subtle electro magnetic changes in the air. Computers are amazing things. From these pulses they can detect when you are at your most a; in able to deal with a catastrophic crash and b; least aware of anything other than you current focus. Boom, the most effective crash moment is chosen, followed by a complex history check of your usage. Extrapolating data from your trends and habits your computer can then go on to ensure your most precious data and information will be corrupted and thus rendered useless if you skip the reboot file check.

Genius , absolute genius.

How did they subvert the windows software you might ask. Didn’t you hear, Sam Fisher has gone Rogue.

Click here to view the embedded video.

You If you pause frame, zoom in and reconstitute the move you can see their arm badges sporting an apple, and a penguin.

All your support are belong to us !

What sends me crazy is the fact that they buy the product and then seem to believe that as an IT professional I am duty bound to help them out. Not only do they impress upon me that for some reason I am going to help support their product that was bought from another company, I should also be thankful they brought me the work at all since I’m such an unreasonably expensive service. Do you see the full stop, I put that there to make you think about the last line. So they buy an under priced product from a company that does not support their own customers then deem it necessary to belittle my position and the business for whom I work because they believe I am not worth the modest labour charge. Is my position as an experience computer technician and passionate geek not worth a measly thirty dollars when it comes to teaching you how to open your email ?

Let’s put this into some kind of perspective.

Dell for instance, sells laptop and pc’s at prices no sane technical computer store can match. I’m not going to belittle the quality of the Dell product since  I have in fact owned two dell systems and been very happy with both however I will happily belittle their service.

When you order a Dell you are for the most part your own sales person. While you browse their website you are in effect saving them millions of dollars that they would otherwise have to spend on geeks with wich to assist you in your computer purchase be it laptop or desktop. There is of course customer support for sales, if your willing to wait half an hour to get someone who can speak english. This person is unfortunately not trained in any particular information processing field. It’s likely he is not trained in computers at all. This hard to understand person is what you might call a professional telemarketer. His job isn’t to know about the products he is selling. His job is to sound like he knows about the product he is selling. He will sell you anything, he will do anything to sell it to you and at the end of the day if you are not happy with the purchase the chances of you interacting with the same person again are negligible so he doesn’t care.

Your second step after going through the sales process is to wait for your system to be built and shipped. I do literally mean ship, as in the slow boat from Singapore. Any geek that is worth his salt knows the value of the impulse buy. So while your waiting 10 Business day’s (a good example of ten business day’s is my friends very expensive $7,499 laptop that took 10 weeks for the wrong unit to arrive.)

So when your unit comes it’s pre set up with all that lovely software you don’t want. You could be forgiven for thinking that sales guy might have put that on there for you but no. This stuff is put on your computer so that the big company can make money off the companies that give them this software to fool you into buying it. What a mouth full of purely evil marketing. So while you spend the first week of you newly owned machine trying to get all the trash you didn’t want that they did put on off, you realise there’s all the stuff you did want that’s not on there.

Ring Mumbai for your technical assistance, spend four hours not understanding a single word then grab the local telephone directory. Insert hapless local service geek here.

So in comparison we could follow the process of buying from a local perhaps smaller and likely dearer computer store.

First step, pick a sales geek and get him to help you pick a machine. That is his job, to assist you and make you feel comfortable with your purchase. It’s possible they don’t have it on hand. might have to order it in, might even have to custom build it. A custom-built system, put together want right in the shop where you bought it. Quite a novelty. I built about 80% of all the computers that are sold at my job. It’s one aspect of my job I still get excited about. Getting to work with new hardware, testing and configuring. Ensuring stability while getting the best out of hardware. I’m getting all misty eyed. This geek knows that if he stuffs up you’ll be in tomorrow, handbag or walking stick in hand ready to deal out some swift punishment, and rightly so. His job is to pick the right product, put the product together and ensure that it does exactly what you want it to do. Ask the geek to take all that useless trash off and put the useful stuff on. Chances are this will add a modest token fee, but it will be done for you and likely that day.

Pay for your purchase and take it home. Now you have your computer comfortable in the knowledge that if something goes wrong you won’t be dealing with some faceless man who speaks in tongues.

Isn’t that worth a little extra. Support your local computer shop, because at the end of the day, they are the only people who will support you.

Of course we could all point to some local stores that don’t hire sales geeks, and sell pretty much the same product as our global multi national friends at dell. We geeks deal with those as well. The disenfranchised customers of large uncaring retail outlets. It’s all Hienz to us.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Just for fun, an oldie but a goodie.

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2. Bad Employee Habits – Common Sense Is Hardly Common:

Let me say it again:stop downloading crap on your work-machine. I mean it, Stop! — and that’s exactly what you should tell your employees. You could spend hundreds or even thousands trying to enforce workplace computer-usage policies. However, I can assure you that — in respect of workplace-computer usage — the threat of unemployment is the most effective way of keeping your employees in line. Tell them to update their anti-virus programs; teach them the importance of the malware protection system; then grab the biggest stick you can find, and inform them that should something go wrong with the computer systems due to negligence or downright stupidity, it’s their asses on the line! Facebook? — that’s a warning. Myspace? — you’re looking at two strikes. Pornography in the work place? — that’s instant dismissal. Always remember that as a business you are liable for your employees’ actions. Downloading anything other than legitimate and work-related content on a work system should be as above: punishable with instant dismissal. The Feds may not prosecute a lonely little person downloading music. However, they will have a field day with a business entity. These rules are common sense. Just enforce them with your employees, and you’ll save yourself a great deal of time, heartache, and money.

3. Social Engineering – ‘Face-Palm scenarios’

Ever had one of those moments when the only human option is to lower your head in the palm of your hand? That’s called a ‘face palm.’ This little piece will explain to you exactly how to avoid such scenarios: “Hi, my name is ‘insert name here’ from ‘insert your isp here’. We’re just doing some maintenance work, and we need your login and password to get your account working again.” This is something I hear a lot. It’s an obvious old school con called ‘social networking,’ but it remains the most effective and most efficient method of hacking in the arsenal of cyber-criminals. I cannot impress upon you how many times this simple, easily identified ruse has worked. If someone asks you for your password, tell them no. Would you tell someone your bank-acount login and password if they asked? Sadly, the answer is: it’s possible. So, the next time you hear about someone having their bank account ‘hacked,’ or their internet account ‘cracked,’ you’ll understand the truth behind the situation. Most of the online game players that cry that their accounts were stolen probably gave their passwords to someone. A common ruse is the offer of a free item if you sign on to a website. Don’t. The website is phishing your details. Think about a situation. If the bank site looks different – for example, has a funny website address — don’t go there. Banks will not email you requesting information, or give you ‘new’ links to access your account. All these scenarios may sound obvious, yet there is still a massive market for this kind of scam. It’s been happening forever, and it’s still happening. Moreover, with new technology comes new ways to dude and fool. So, be aware; be suspicious. Don’t be left face-palming while some Nigeristanian hacker siphons the money from your bank accounts.

4. Suggested Security Plugins — It Couldn’t Be Any Easier.

So, here’s the part you’ve all been waiting for: I’ve come across some great security plugins, and alhough there is no 100% way to ensure protection, every little bit counts.

Secure WordPress.

First, there’s Frank Bültge’s Secure WordPress. This little plugin does a great job. It’s easy to install, as all WordPress plugins are, and straight-forward to setup.

Author: Frank Bültge

Little help to secure your WordPress installation: Remove Error information on login page; adds index.html to plugin directory; removes the wp-version, except in admin area.

WP Security Scan

A great overview of what is and isn’t setup right with your install. Some more avanced features. I strongly suggest a backup of your wordpress database before delving to deep into this product.

Author: Michael Torbert

Scans your WordPress installation for security vulnerabilities and suggests corrective actions.

AskApache Password Protect

This plugin appears to have issues oin various hosts. Works for me. I’ll be honest, Im not exactly sure what it does beyond adding an extra layer of protection when logging in and using your password. Still that’s enough. If this plugin works for you great, if not then I would not be to concerned.

Authors: AskApache, cduke250

This plugin doesn’t control WordPress or mess with your database, instead it utilizes fast, tried-and-true built-in Security features to add multiple layers of security to your blog. This plugin is specifically designed and regularly updated specifically to stop automated and unskilled attackers attempts to exploit vulnerabilities on your blog resulting in a hacked site.

Replace WP-Version

This simple plugin makes it harder for potential hackers to know what your using. Security by obscurity is as an effective defence as social networking is an effective threat. Very easy to install and use.

Author: Frank Bueltge

Security your WordPress-Installation and eliminate or replace your wp-version and database-version on easy way with a small plugin.

Creator of Counter-Strike returns with his new game ‘Tactical Intervention’ challenging the legend of 11 years of Counter-Strike! Be the first to try out Minh Le’s new game and win 10,000 points given at the commercialization!

Apply now for closed beta test from May 14th, 2010! There are only 5,000 Beta key’s currently available. Get yours now, and be a part of a new generation of online Counter Strike Style Game.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Visit the site to sign up for your BETA Key

Portal used to cost money. Until May 24th, it’s free. End of story.

Valve is now giving Portal away for free, Under a new campaign to promote there new steam client for the Mac. If you already own a game just simply follow this link to gain your free copy

Aquaria, Gish, Lugaru HD, and Penumbra Overture .. AWESOME !!!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Note, the games will be “free as in ‘free speech’, not as in ‘free beer’”: see each license for the full, finalized details as they come out very hopefully this week — stay tuned. It is the underlying code that will be made available to everyone.

Please support this project. The games are free now (Or about to be free) however shouldn’t we be contributing. The answer is YES we should be contributing to such a generous offer from the developers. There generous offer will hopefulyl start a trend, a trend that I can only hope goes beyond the initial outlay. Buy one for yourself, one for your friends. Sheesh, a late mothers day present. Just get off the couch and do it.

Of course development time for the game is variable. Quantity vs Quality and all that. So stay tuned for updates on what could be the future direction for geek-haven.